Cross My Heart: Lose You
by k-kizkhalifa
Summary: Tristan is a year old now, and Harry and Draco are going through a few things most parents go through during parenthood and marriage. / [T. Fluff.]


**A/N:** Heyyo. A little addition to the Cross My Heart A/U. No need to read the priors, of course, just note they have an adopted son and are married - do feel free to read the others though! Always welcomed:) Ohp, and thanks to my amazing beta. She the best;)

 **Warnings:** N/a.

 **Summary:** Tristan is a year now, and Harry and Draco are going through a few things most parents go through during parenthood and marriage.

A/U. DracoxHarry. I don't own this lovely world! We know this already. ~

* * *

 **Draco stared** **at t** he note Harry had sent home, it was just after lunch and he had gotten it a little late because he had been taking care of Tristan but now that he had it he was furious.

 _Baby, if you're planning on soup again I think I'll grab a beer with the guys after we're done._

 _Let me know! Harry xx_

Draco was fucking furious. He grabbed a piece of parchment and scrawled his own answer, sending it back.

 _If you go out for a beer, don't bother coming home._

Harry had been helping some friends with a special project at the Ministry and as much as Draco wanted to say he wasn't struggling with Tristan he was. It had been two weeks now and he had grown to rely on Harry's help. Harry's support. He needed it, but instead Harry had been working. Not even really working. He wasn't getting paid for it, he was just doing it. He didn't need to be there, but he was. For two weeks.

Draco was doing his best but Tuesday, Tristan had started getting sick and Draco was getting overwhelmed just like now his son was screaming for him and he had just laid him down not even twenty minutes ago. Draco ran up to his room and had him in his arms immediately, cradling him close.

"Oh baby," he whispered sadly, his fever was back. Draco didn't know what else to do he couldn't give him any more medicine for a while so instead he just held him and rubbed his back, cradling him close and trying to calm him down.

Tristan had an upset stomach, it seemed, and was having a hard time keeping much down plus a cough that was getting worse every hour, going on four days now. Draco was looking forward to Harry being home for the weekend - or had been until his dumbass sent that note talking about if Draco planned on making soup again….

Yesterday Draco hadn't planned on making soup at all. He had other stuff out and ready to make but he ended up going with the left over soup from the night before because of Tristan's sickness. He didn't have the time to cook, he was taking care of their son. And Tuesday he had actually forgotten dinner because he had taken Tristan to the doctor and was just getting home when Harry was.

He knew Harry wasn't happy with the dinner choice last night, or any of the last three nights, he could tell by his silence and last night he made a face when Draco finally managed to get it to the table though he hadn't been able to sit there long before he was cleaning up more puke.

 _Why can't he damn well cook?_ Draco thought bitterly, it wasn't written in stone that just Draco had to though it often fell that way. It didn't have to be that way Harry was just as capable. Hell, he had done most of the cooking before Tristan anyway. The blonde nuzzled their son, and sat back in the rocking chair shutting his eyes. He was tired, he knew Tristan was tired as well, _maybe he'll sleep if I hold him?_ He thought, while rubbing his back and rocking him.

 **When Harry got** the note he knew he was in for it, he hadn't thought it was that big of a deal but then again Draco had been rather crazy lately, he told himself. He sighed and threw it away, frowning as he glanced over at Dean, Seamus, and the others he had been helping. The group about to head out and kick their weekend off.

"Alright Harry?"

"Yeah, gonna head on home. Maybe next time."

"The wife said no?" Seamus laughed, judging him. Harry grinned and laughed it off, "well next time then. See ya later!"

Harry smiled and headed over to the floo network while they headed through the exits, and he floo'd home. The house was a mess, Tristan's toys were all over the living room, there was a basket of unfolded clothing on the couch and a pile of dirty onesies on the ground in front of the laundry room door.

"Dray?" He called peeking into the kitchen, finding it empty and the dishes from breakfast still on the counter. He frowned and headed upstairs, "Draco?"

"Here!" He heard and saw the bathroom door half opened.

Harry looked in and found Tristan sitting in the tub, silently sniffling while Draco washed his front. The blonde's hair was out of place, his shirt was untucked and covered in sick and he looked tired. "What's wrong with him?"

"He's sick Potter," Draco said without looking at him, "just like has been since Tuesday."

"Oh." Harry stepped back, "alright..."

Draco shook his head and grabbed the soap starting to rub his hand over Tristan's chest who slapped at him screaming, "NO!"

Draco looked worried, "what? Are you okay baby?" Tristan kept slapping his hand, screaming, no! Until Draco dropped his hand and sat back on his heels, "what Tristan?"

"Da-da!" He splashed the water right a Draco as he cried the word out and Draco gasped, "DA-DA! DADA!"

Harry was standing in the door watching, unsure what to say until finally Draco got to his feet and looked at him, "your son wants you Potter." He said calmly, "I'll go make anything other than soup for dinner." He pushed past him to the hallway and started down as Harry stepped towards their son.

"I made Daddy mad," he said dropping down to his knees next to the tub, grabbing Tristan out of the water and getting the towel from the floor to wrap it around him. "Are you mad at me too?" He asked cuddling him. Tristan stared blankly and rubbed his wet hair against Harry's shirt, "I love you baby." He said softly and gave his wet hair a kiss before grabbing his wand from his back pocket and drying him with a flourish of his wrist.

Tristan giggled from the feeling, squealed as the two stood up, "more! More!" He started smacking at Harry's chest.

"You gotta stop hitting baby," Harry whispered taking his hands and giving them a soft squeeze, "nice touches." Harry said as he rubbed his hands, "soft touching."

"No!"

"Yes," Harry got the two off the ground, holding him close, once they were in his room Harry grabbed his clothes getting him in his diaper and then pajamas. "Did you take a nap today?" He coo'd as he buttoned the pajama onesie.

"No nap!" Tristan shook his head rolling over to his knees and reaching for Harry, he was coughing as Harry picked him up.

"Yes nap," Harry answered with a chuckle and rubbed his back, he had given him his medicine and rubbed some Baby Vick's on his chest before he grabbed his blanket wrapping him up tightly and laying the two on the ground. Harry laid on his side and wrapped his arm around Tristan, cuddling his son close who was babbling quietly. Their eyes met and Harry smiled, "oh yeah?"

Tristan smiled widely letting his eyes flutter shut, "gonna sleep baby?" Harry was asking as he held him, watching Tristan flutter his eyes over and over until finally he was asleep. They laid for a few more minutes before Harry picked him up to lay him in his bed. He pulled the side railing up and grabbed the monitor, heading out of the room.

He knew there was going to be a fight and he didn't want one, but he knew it was coming.

Harry walked quietly into the kitchen where Draco was sitting on the floor with a wine glass in one hand and tears on his cheek.

"Baby?"

Draco looked up at him taking a long drink of the wine.

"Tristan is sleeping," Harry said and sat the monitor on the counter then he bent down in front of Draco, reaching for him, "baby?"

"What?" Draco shied away from his touch, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I didn't m-."

Draco cut him off, "oh, fuck you."

"I'm trying to apologize, Draco."

"I can hear that."

"Then let me apologize."

"No, because it doesn't mean anything."

Harry sighed and sat down in front of him, "it does mean something Draco, I'm sorry." Draco rolled his eyes and finished the wine glass before reaching up to grab the bottle and pouring himself another glass. "Draco..." Harry started softly, "probably shouldn't drink that much."

"And why not?" He sneered taking a big drink with a pointed look.

"Okay," Harry sighed, "let's go, what?"

"Don't you fucking patronize me Potter!" He all but yelled and slammed the wine glass down, some sloshing out, "you're not here! You're supposed to be here! We agreed to do this together, we agreed to parenthood together and you're not fucking here." Draco was crying again, "you're off doing fuckall for no reason and then you have the fucking audacity to tell me you were going to go out for a drink? Fuck you Potter!" Harry frowned, remaining quiet watching Draco wipe his tears away, "so fuck your stupid apology."

"I'm sorry," he said again and reached for Draco ignoring him as he jerked away, "come here Draco." He whispered, grabbing his arms and finally pulling him into his lap. "Stop." Draco pushed at his chest, but Harry was far stronger and held him in place, "stop."

"Let go of me!"

"Stop." Draco pushed him roughly, shaking his head and crying and then their eyes locked. Two dark green eyes matched two dark gray. "Say it," Harry said quietly, softly.

Draco opened his mouth, the words forming. He was thinking it, I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. Over and over, his mouth opening and closing around the words. He wanted to say it, but he couldn't. They fell away and instead he just closed his eyes and leaned forward hugging Harry tightly, crying against his shoulder. "I'm so tired..."

"I know," Harry rocked him, "how about you go take a shower?"

"Yeah..." Draco nodded.

"Or take a long, hot bubble bath? Hm?" Draco nodded again, though neither moved. "Has he been feeling any better?"

"Yes and no, when his fever spikes its really bad but I haven't given him anything other than Pedialyte since breakfast. He's been managing that better," Draco answered laying his cheek against Harry's shoulder.

"Want to talk now or...?"

"You can cook, Potter. Okay? I don't have to do all of this on my own. It's your house, it's your child just as much as it's all mine." The blonde answered immediately as if it had been all he wanted to say for the last three days.

"I know baby," Harry kissed his neck, "I'm sorry... I didn't pay enough attention and I was caught up in it all and I was shit."

"You told me this was what you wanted. I was what you wanted... me and Tristan. We are it."

"You are," Harry swallowed roughly and sighed, "every bit of that. I just wanted to feel... I don't know, needed? Y'know? I miss it all. I miss the work and the people and I miss the freedom..."

"We can do anything, Potter, anytime you want. It's you and me and Tristan and we have all this time. We have all these abilities and things and we don't have to be shut-ins, but you do have to be here. I need you, Harry." Draco whispered, holding his cheeks, "I need you and Tristan needs you. I couldn't get him to sleep today but for 20 minutes, Harry. And you're with him for less than an hour and he's upstairs in bed sleeping." He frowned, "he needs you, Harry. We asked for this together, and we have to do this together."

"Okay," Harry smiled, leaning forward to kiss him. "Now go relax and I'll take care of everything down here."

"Okay," Draco smiled and moved off of Harry's lap, standing up. "Want me to take the monitor?"

"Nope," Harry was picking up the wine glass from the floor and smiled over to Draco, "I just want you to relax. Gooo."

Harry waited until he heard the bathroom door shut and looked around. He hadn't really taken anytime during the last two weeks to check the house. He hadn't paid attention, he hadn't paid attention to the two most important people in his life either. Draco and Tristan. He had been a bad father and a bad husband.

Harry moved quickly cleaning the kitchen with a few spells, and then just the same in the living room; after ten minutes all of Tristan's toys were cleaned up and put away. He started the laundry ran up and checked on Tristan again before he started dinner.

He was making Draco's favorite. Chicken Alfredo, he didn't personally like it but that wasn't what this was about. It was about making his Draco feel better. It was about reminding his Draco he was perfect and loved and welcomed and...

 _I've lost him once, how could I risk losing him again? I've seen him stop breathing, how could I risk wanting to even come to anything in my life like that again?_

He was pulled from his thoughts the moment Tristan let out a loud scream, Harry put a stasis on the food and ran up the stairs to find his soon waving his arms and screaming when Harry bent over the bed.

"Shh baby," he whispered, smiling down at him and stroking his face, "you're okay." He brushed his hair back soothing him as he quieted down, "you need to sleep baby."

Tristan grabbed at his finger holding it, giggling, "Da-da!"

"Hi baby, you need to sleep, hm?"

"No! Da-da!" He made grabby hands at Harry who scooped him off the bed with his blanket, and laid his cheek against his shoulder.

"You're a little spoiled Tristan Hyperion Potter." He whispered to his son, bouncing him, "let's go make Daddy dinner.." Harry said stopping to grab the medicine and headed the two down the stairs. Once downstairs and in the kitchen Harry took the stasis off for the food to continue cooking and found the Pedialyte Draco was talking about and made Tristan a sippy cup cut with water, shifting him to his hip.

Tristan fussed reaching for Harry's wand, "me?"

"I don't think so," Harry handed him a wooden spoon, instead. "Here?"

Tristan threw the spoon at Harry with a yell, "NO!"

Harry looked at him, with wide eyes, "Tristan," he chided and bent to put him on his feet, he had been walking since 10 months. "You have to be nicer, nice touches." Harry said taking his hands, "okay baby? Nice touches."

"It's his new thing, hitting and throwing..."

"No!" Tristan yelled again the moment Draco's voice greeted the two and ducked into Harry's arm, "Da-da!"

"I'm not here for you," Draco answered, shaking his head, "and hating me."

Harry frowned and pulled Tristan back, "we have to love your Daddy, baby." He said softly, kissing his cheek, "we have to love him very much because he is the only one you have."

Tristan nodded and looked at Draco, as if he understood and maybe in some part of his baby mind he did, waddling over to him and holding his hands out, "up Daaa!"

Harry smiled standing back up and Draco grabbed Tristan off the ground and gave him a kiss, "are you feeling better now that you got time with your father?"

"I gave him medicine," Harry explained, "and Vick's and Pedialyte. Dinner is ready, by the way." He added turning towards the table to show garlic bread, Chicken Alfredo and seasoned broccoli on the table with a glass of fresh wine.

"Mm, my favorite." Draco smiled leaning towards Harry and kissing his cheek, then his lips, "thank you Harry."

"You're welcome baby," he smiled nuzzling the two of them a moment before grabbing the high chair for Tristan. "I got him some applesauce, I know he's supposed to have light and plain food since he's getting sick. Right?"

Draco stared at Harry in shock, smiling, "exactly." He stepped forward and sat Tristan in the high chair, "you hungry baby boy?" Tristan giggled taking the sippy cup and a drink, "don't eat too much or too fast Tristan," Draco warned giving him the spoon, "you try."

Harry smiled at the both of them, "tomorrow we should go to the zoo if he keeps feeling better?"

"Okay," Draco nodded, "if not we can always go next week."

"Every day, if he wants."

"Anytime _you_ want, Harry Potter, we'll be there."


End file.
